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By Steve LaRue

 The following conversation was overheard sometime between 2 and 5 a.m. just east of Ovesen Heights near our beloved Groundhog Hill:


Deer Leader: “All right, keep moving people. Unless, of course, you want some guy in a truck to dump a bag of lime on top of you like Rodney here.”

Rodney: “I was taking a nap!”

Leader: “Move it, Rodney. And wash that stuff off in the creek. You’re starting to peel. Everyone else, splash, run and hop into our favorite field. Go!”

Bud: “Geez, the boss is grumpier than usual tonight. What’s up?”

Lou: “If I had to guess, I’d think he’s tired of foraging. I know I am.”

Bud: “Eat. Chew. Run. A deer’s life does get monotonous.”

Lou: “Hey, we have a lot of fun with cars. Plus, summer’s almost over. He always gets cranky this time of year. Wanna head over to Pearman Forest and jump fallen trees? Could be fun.”

Leader: “Quiet, you two! Find what’s left to eat. There doesn’t seem to be much.

Bud (checking out the Groundhog Hill garden): “Wow. What a dump. Did this guy break a leg or something?”

Lou: “Yeah, it’s a big mess. Marigolds are tasty, though.”

Bud: “Here’s a broken-open watermelon. Full of bugs. Awesome!”

Lou: “This guy usually does a better job of keeping up his garden. Kinda looks like he’s given up.”

Leader: “It’s all the rain, moron! No one’s garden looks good anymore.”

Bud: “That watermelon had a lot of seeds. I’m gonna be picking them outta my teeth for days.”

Lou: “In the moonlight, Rodney still looks kind of ghostly.”

Bud: “Agreed. Do you wanna tell him or should I?”

Lou: “Naw. Let’s wait a day or two. Just too funny. Who takes a nap on the roadside?”

Leader: “Morons! That who. Move it!  Single file. Hide our numbers. Let’s try to find some edible corn in this county. Summer’s nearly over.”

More later from Groundhog Hill.

Email Steve at groundhoghillky@aol.com.