COLUMN: Shut my mouth, please

 If I were God, I would’ve made people with delay devices on their mouths or a filter of some kind.

For example, when your brain wants to say, “Poodles aren’t real dogs,” before it comes out of your mouth the delay device would kick in and send you a message: “Really? Is that really what you want to say in front of this group of people who may or may not include poodle owners?”

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